THE BALLAD OF SCHOLARS

The Ballad of the Knuckle-Dragging Scholars

In a land where freedom reigns supreme,
A curious plot began to gleam.
"Who needs teachers? Not our brood!
We'll teach them right, with attitude!"

So knuckle-draggers took the helm,
In their homes turned learning realm.
"Who needs science? That's for nerds!
We'll stick to simpler, ancient words!"

Arithmetic? A mighty bore!
"Two plus two? Well, maybe four?
But who’s to say? It’s all a guess.
Critical thinking? We'll teach them less!"

History books were tossed aside,
Replaced with tales of hometown pride.
"Forget the world, it's far away.
Our little town is here to stay!"

Biology? A liberal plot!
"They'll learn from frogs in our backyard lot.
Evolution's a fairy tale,
The Bible’s truth will never fail."

Art and music? A waste of time.
"Get them a hammer, not a rhyme!
No need for culture, poise, or grace—
Hard work will earn them their rightful place."

Meanwhile, abroad in foreign lands,
Where children learned with skilled, firm hands,
Professionals taught with careful art,
Expanding minds and growing hearts.

And so it came, as one might fear,
The gap grew wide year after year.
The knuckle-draggers scratched their heads,
"Why are we last?" they sadly said.

The world progressed, while they stood still,
Masters of ignorance, kings of will.
And thus the moral's clear to see:

Leave education to the degreed!